ALL CHANGE THIS JOURNEY TERMINATES HERE!
So I’ve been missing for a long time, not sure if there is anybody still checkig on me but I will attempt to explain why.
I’ve been dreading doing this partly because I know some one could be reading this, but I can’t pretend everything is hunky dory, I wear my heart on my sleeve & I’ve got the scars to proove it!
So now I’ve built up the drama! LoL I better get on with it.
Me & Mr G have split! Over 12.5 years together sharing everything good & bad and he’s gone! Just like that, no real warning, I don’t even really know why & I’m not even sure he dose either but he just said he needed to leave.
He is not a bad man & we are still friends so please don’t think anything nasty & there is not another woman!
So I’m running the lyric of Torn through my head
I’m all out of faith,
This is how I feel
I’m cold & I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Only I would substitute broken for naked!
I’ve spent the last few months sorting everything out it’s amazing how much junk you acumulate as a couple that when it’s over neither wants. So I’ve been purging, shredding, organising & a lot of crying (in private to myself well mostly)
I am constantly amazed at all the people who have come out of the woodwork to help suport me, if I was stage diving I wouldn’t have toutch the floor with the amount of hands of love I have been shown (and I’m tearing up just thinking about that) so thank you, I never realised how blessed I was.
I’ve acually got part of my living room made into an art studio, which I’m quite pleased about! I’ve done all the shifting of furniture & setting up of my computer all by myself. I’ve even fixed problems that I didn’t know, I knew how to do.
All I have to do now is finish my bed room., sort the kitchen, Hall & spare room into a students room. Yep I’ve got to take someone in to pay for the missing rent! So as we live very close to a very good colledge it won’t be a problem.
I’ve not told work as I really can’t face the looks on they’re faces, they don’t care about me, they just want the juciey gossip. Which I’m not really ready to face or be!
I will be ok eventually, at the moment I just feel lost & left adrift. I had all these ideas & plans for us and now there is no us, no one to share those things that you hold dear, no one to go to dinner & a film with. No wedding (not that I was really wanting to get married but I thought we would oneday, we were engaged for over 11 years)
I feel like a unicycle I can do it all myself but you get starred at & people think your strange! LoL
And I’ve got my birthday next week 38 & single!!!, which we used to spend together & christmas his mum used to come stay & we’d be a family now there is just me! (don’t panic I will be spending it with my parents but it’s not the same & that’s our aniversary christmas day, so it will be tinged with sadness this year)
Ok I really have to get a grip here, and stop feeling so sorry for myself , I’m not he only one I won’t go into details as it’s not my place but my poor baby brother is in a similar situation except he & his wife are getting a divorce (both 2nd marriages)
I love them both a whole bunch & I intend to remain friends with my sister in law (now ex) it’s all so messed up.
So anyway I will be back to a sechedule of crafting & photography soon!
I bought myself a birthday present I finally got my SLR camera now I have to work out how to use it! LoL
I’ve just got to finish sorting my life out & gluing it back together and I will be back I hope all is well with everyone else I hop eto catch up with everyone soon
Seeya hugya *G*
Yes I know I’ve been missing again, but just recently I’ve not been feeling great, just very down I get these moods sometimes & the best thing to do is just try & go with it till it passes I don’t write about it much because I really don’t want to be a whinging pom!
I follow the mantra if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything!
I’m having a dry patch in the way of creativity too & I’m just not feeling anything I really do at the moment so in order to kick start the old brain I enlisted on another of Shimelle’s wonderful classes
http://www.shimelle.com/classes/423/here-there-everywhere-sneak-peeks-qa-and-prizes/
I’m slowly getting myself together, and I’m working through
the notes! I always do these little class books for the notes handed out, they
are display folders found @ Sainsbury’s £7.99 for 5 in a magazine rack (but
they regularly go on sale at £4.99 which is when I buy them)
they have a little
space in the spine that I like to slip coloured paper in & then I do a front
page.
They look cute on the shelf. I try and pick a theme that will remind me what’s in the folder!
So the little frickers at work have put a ban on VOX so I can’t either read Vox posts or up load to my own blog from work (in my lunch hour of course!!)
And I’ve been having some fun and games with my old PC (its 2years old, which is like having a dinosaur! LoL)
So I’m making the switch to apple (or more like Mr G is doing the actual switching as he knows what he’s doing! Thank you Mr G, your a star) Mr G up graded recently so I’m going to use the old one till I decide what to do! Buy a new apple or a SLR camera! Yes I know it’s a hard choice & I’m still hoping I win the lottery so that I don’t have to make the decision! LoL
So I may be gone again for a while, I’m going to try & use my iphone to follow blogs but I’m not sure if I can comment , although having said that I’ve not been able to comment on any type pad or word press blog recently the post button is disabled to me! Something else I will have to look into Blah
Any hoo I just thought I’d tell you what the hell was going on with me!
So I really hope everyone is ok, it’s kinda spring here or almost I know some of you have those March birthday & I’m trying to do some cards that I like to send.
So anyway here are some of the photos I’ve been taking with my little old (she’s 4 now) point & shoot, Penn!
Seeya hugya *G*
Yes blah!
Everyone’s sick including my computer so I'm here (posting from work) don't know if I can post from iphone??!! But I’m working on it
Hope everyone had a nice valentines day I did this time, but for those of you that had a bad one here is a bad one from my past it was going to be a response to some ones blog I read (can’t find the link at the moment) and basically she said the worst valentines day she had was when a boyfriend dumped her! So this is my worst valentines day
A while back (thinking on it it's almost 20 years yikes!) I fancied a guy at work like crazy & was encouraged by my fellow work colleges who knew him well to send an anonymous valentine with a few clues as to who I was. We got on well had been out in a group & had a laugh & were both single. I had never done anything like that before but I thought I would give it a try, I sent it to his work place in a brown envelope, marked personnel & private to avoid embarrassment.
When valentines day came around we all met up for lunch, I was shy so didn’t want to ask about it so one of the other girls asked the table if anyone had got valentines, he immediately spoke up & was absolutely livid! To my horror he started slagging off who ever sent the valentine, his personality was completely different to the one I had grown to like! I was so embarrassed & the other girls were totally shocked by his reaction! Thankfully he didn’t get the clues I left, so he never confronted me & the other girls never gave me up! Thankfully a couple of months later I was made redundant so I’ve never had to see him again! Needless to say we never went out & I have never ever, nor will I ever again send a valentine to anyone I’m not certain will return the affection!
Seeya Hugya *G*
Hi been missing again life is just flying by I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to do that just keeps taking up time & then there’s hardly anything left for blogging or sleeping! LoL
So I got my wish & I finally got a snowday! Yes for the first time in 18 years, we actually got some decent snow! But London being London it ground to a halt No buses were running, the trains couldn’t get into London & the underground was severely crippled.
So I got to ring in work & say I can’t make it and I wasn’t lying! Yipee
I did my good deed & went down the shops for some things for people & cleaned & salted 2 neighbour’s steps & paths as well as ours!
And I took a tonne of photos and here are some!
Hope everyone is ok!
Seeya hugya *G*
Ps the snow was apparently from Russia hence the title! LoL
Hi so sorry I haven’t been posting much, but I was always told if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all! And I’m afraid I’m grumpy as I’ve got another cold!
But I have had a mixed year so far and I’m singing “always look on the bright side of life”
So to address the balance I actually won a prize! From the lovely Corinne
http://corinne-delis.typepad.com/the_life_of_a_dutch_scrap/
And it arrived the other day, when I was feeling down!
I actually won an award! I’ve always seen these around everyone else gets them but never me & especially since I’m not blogging as much so I was very touched and really annoyed that I can’t give Tam one back!
So the feeling is mutual if I had an award to give you’d be on the list I love your creativity and your sense of humour in the face of adversity!
http://creativedomesticity.blogspot.com/2009/01/take-free-class-with-shimelle-and-win.html
With the award came some simple rules:
1. The winner may put the logo on their blog.
2. Put a link to the person who sent you the award.
3. Nominate 5 blogs.
4. Provide links to their blogs.
5. Leave a message for your nominees.
I love dropping in on my blog friends & I always try to leave a comment and it’s so hard to just to pick 5! But here goes
1 Lisa she was one of the 1st people to comment & has just had the most adorable baby boy (my best xmas present!) and I love her stuff
http://onlysleepn.wordpress.com/
2 Lavender my fellow voxer – who takes the most amazing photos & is very truthful about her life and always replies to comments which I now do because it always makes you feel listen to!
3 Brenda just a fun blogger & a great person! Also one of the few blogger friends I’ve actually met! & I’m sorry I’m not so great on facebook!
http://web.me.com/brenda_smith/Site/Blog/Entries/2008/12/3_Gidget%E2%80%99s_puppies.html
4 Strawberry another voxer, She has always been so supportive and one day to be may design manager!
http://mhmz.vox.com/library/post/today-was-complete-and-utter.html#comments
5 Heidikins she just so real & I love her style of writing
that was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I’m deliberately not choosing the usual suspects I have many a famous scrapper photographer or artist marked on my blog feed but they all have loads of comments and will surly already have this award!
I made these for a few friends who had babies (they don’t travel well so I only do them for those I can give them to) but they are an easy present all you need is glass paint in a tube, with a thin nozzle and you do it in stages waiting for one row to dry before you do the next (and check your spelling! LoL)
Did my thank you cards just need to send them out!
I got a few great things for Christmas loads of art books & a new Sophie Afxentiou bag which s just to die for so love her stuff! They hope to have the shopping site up soon will link when I have it!
I’ve got a list of projects that I want to get done, so I’m trying to work through them!
Ok my weekend is almost over so will get going or I won’t post this!
Seeya hugya *G*
Happy New Year sorry it’s a bit late!
This little visitor waited around for me to rush up stairs to get my camera cute ha!
Wow I can’t believe it’s already been a week of 2009 already I keep meaning to post but of course I can’t do it from work anymore & when I get home from work I’m just so tired!
Mum is still in a wheel chair we hope that she will be out of it soon, but it’s a lot more work, when she can’t get about so please bear with me I hope to be back to normal soonish!
I do have a present for you all it’s a calendar that I was hoping to make downloadable for anyone all you had to do was print it out A4 (letter paper) & I made it black & white for everyone with normal printers1 but I can’t seem to get the bl**dy thing to print properly! It keeps changing the font I’ve picked back to boring one! Plus I’m not so au fait with how to get a down load on the blog either so please bear with me it’s a huge learning curve for me!
Our Christmas was ok relatively quite I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped mostly because I’ve been so tired so I think my body just wanted me to veg out – I didn’t leave the house unless I absolutely had to! Which was nice for a change & I managed to catch up on the house work boring I know but it needed doing and it meant I was around for mum!
We made the decision not to keep the car so that was sad to let her go she was like a 6th pet but she needed so much work (someone hit her & of course didn’t stay or leave details!) so although it didn’t make the car un drivable it would not have passed the MOT test & with the expense of CAR TAX, petrol prices, congestion charges & even parking it just wasn’t worth keeping her! Sad day when the scrap guy came to take her away – she got us out of some very difficult scrapes! We are not completely carless we joined a car sharing scheme we shall see how it goes!
So we had a little more sad news another of my aunts (Mary) has passed away just after Xmas – she had a good innings she was the last of my granddads sibs and was in her early 90’s I spent a lot of time with my grandparents & his sibs when I was a little kid so I knew them all very well & her husband Harry is a great writer & we exchange letters. I know worry for him as she was his life his all.
So I picked a word for this year, last years was enjoy & I did enjoy most of last year there were some great times as well as some very sad times! So this year is going to be HOPE as a feel I need a little hope.
So I’m hoping for a little more balance in my life
I’m hoping for a new job
I’m hoping for happiness
I’m hoping to be more frugal
I’m hoping to be healthier
I’m hoping to post more
I’m hoping to be more creative
I’m hoping to get my SLR (I’ve already started saving)
And I’m hoping good things for all of you too! LoL
Ok let’s get going or this won’t get posted
Seeya hugya *G*
