ALL CHANGE THIS JOURNEY TERMINATES HERE!
So I’ve been missing for a long time, not sure if there is anybody still checkig on me but I will attempt to explain why.
I’ve been dreading doing this partly because I know some one could be reading this, but I can’t pretend everything is hunky dory, I wear my heart on my sleeve & I’ve got the scars to proove it!
So now I’ve built up the drama! LoL I better get on with it.
Me & Mr G have split! Over 12.5 years together sharing everything good & bad and he’s gone! Just like that, no real warning, I don’t even really know why & I’m not even sure he dose either but he just said he needed to leave.
He is not a bad man & we are still friends so please don’t think anything nasty & there is not another woman!
So I’m running the lyric of Torn through my head
I’m all out of faith,
This is how I feel
I’m cold & I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Only I would substitute broken for naked!
I’ve spent the last few months sorting everything out it’s amazing how much junk you acumulate as a couple that when it’s over neither wants. So I’ve been purging, shredding, organising & a lot of crying (in private to myself well mostly)
I am constantly amazed at all the people who have come out of the woodwork to help suport me, if I was stage diving I wouldn’t have toutch the floor with the amount of hands of love I have been shown (and I’m tearing up just thinking about that) so thank you, I never realised how blessed I was.
I’ve acually got part of my living room made into an art studio, which I’m quite pleased about! I’ve done all the shifting of furniture & setting up of my computer all by myself. I’ve even fixed problems that I didn’t know, I knew how to do.
All I have to do now is finish my bed room., sort the kitchen, Hall & spare room into a students room. Yep I’ve got to take someone in to pay for the missing rent! So as we live very close to a very good colledge it won’t be a problem.
I’ve not told work as I really can’t face the looks on they’re faces, they don’t care about me, they just want the juciey gossip. Which I’m not really ready to face or be!
I will be ok eventually, at the moment I just feel lost & left adrift. I had all these ideas & plans for us and now there is no us, no one to share those things that you hold dear, no one to go to dinner & a film with. No wedding (not that I was really wanting to get married but I thought we would oneday, we were engaged for over 11 years)
I feel like a unicycle I can do it all myself but you get starred at & people think your strange! LoL
And I’ve got my birthday next week 38 & single!!!, which we used to spend together & christmas his mum used to come stay & we’d be a family now there is just me! (don’t panic I will be spending it with my parents but it’s not the same & that’s our aniversary christmas day, so it will be tinged with sadness this year)
Ok I really have to get a grip here, and stop feeling so sorry for myself , I’m not he only one I won’t go into details as it’s not my place but my poor baby brother is in a similar situation except he & his wife are getting a divorce (both 2nd marriages)
I love them both a whole bunch & I intend to remain friends with my sister in law (now ex) it’s all so messed up.
So anyway I will be back to a sechedule of crafting & photography soon!
I bought myself a birthday present I finally got my SLR camera now I have to work out how to use it! LoL
I’ve just got to finish sorting my life out & gluing it back together and I will be back I hope all is well with everyone else I hop eto catch up with everyone soon
Seeya hugya *G*
